I start to become curious about this argument in the end of 2012, but I begin to get my ‘dream’ to be a Pup realized – how we’ll see later – in the central part of 2013. Between the moment when I have discovered this kind of BDSM and the one, when I start to make, what is only a fantasy of mines, concrete, I am keeping information about this matter.
I chance upon a Facebook page, towards the end of 2012, about an Australian association, which occupies itself with Puppy Play, by organizing courses, theme parties and many other relative things.
Hence, I start to check more and more pages about this argument and I’m contacted by a man, who will be very important for CuccioLino’s birth – my name is a word game: it could mean Little Pup, Puppy or even, Pup Lino. This man is an American (human) Wolf from Missouri (USA), who is very available to dialogue with me, as regards Puppy Play, he answers to each question of mines, even the most stupid ones, patiently, for months. His kindness and his completeness, in talking about this matter, make me more and more curious, wishful and lustful to try to be a human pup.
Before I can realize this fantasy of mines, some months pass. One day, in march of following year, I go to a Fetish Shop in Rome and I buy the “Muzzle” (my dog mask), which will become the pillar of my Pup figure and, then, I catch the leash and knee-pads: the must gear, I need every time I play.
I have to say that, until I started to play, the one to be a Puppy was only a simple imagination. I felt I could like that, but, at first, I was living it with curiosity. Yes, with curiosity. I would be available to have some dog behaviors, such as to put me at four, to woof, to growl or to sleep in Pup way, in my fantasy. But I would be absolutely not available to eat or to drink from a bowl. I started I would have liked to begin to be a Puppy into a gay fetish party, a kind of party I had already taken part into, other times. I was not attracted by idea to try to be a Puppy under a “Master’s control. I don’t know why.
The right moment, I started to be a Puppy in all respects, was a gay fetish night, in Rome, on April of 2013. This party was organized by Leather Club Roma (www.lcroma.com) and it was similar to other parties, organized by them, I was accustom to take part in. But I never took part in this way.
Before I came into that club, which was situated in Tuscolana Street in Rome, I was excited by thinking I was about to realize what was a pure dream of mines, till that moment. I would be the first person, who would wear a puppy mask, inside a gay fetish party in Rome. I came inside the club, I changed and, then I went to the lounge zone, where the major part of clientele was situated. I can still remember in what astonished way, people, who were present in that zone, were looking at me, wearing my Puppy gear. I was able to see their opened eyes, which were fixing me, through the eye clefts of the muzzle. There were a flight of stairs, in that zone itself of the club. And there were some iron bars, at the external part of them, which get whoever uses them avoided slipping and falling. I established I would tie my leash at one of these bars. I put myself at knees and everything started since then. I cannot say if that night was OK or not: by one hand, I get bored, because someone tried to pull my leash, someone else to kick me, and by getting angry when I refused to Play with him; by the other I enjoyed myself so much, I was on the focus of many others’ attention: there had been who caressed me both my belly and my head. And there where someone, like the bartender, who even paid me some compliments for my look, Sorry, for my gear. Anyway, from that night, I realized that I was feeling adapt to Play as Puppy. That night, I decided I would like to be a Puppy and in that night itself, I chose my Puppy name.
How I said before, dialogues between me and the human Wolf - I told about previously - about Human Puppy Play, Puppy Play themed Facebook groups, I was joining and attending, which let me to meet many other people, who like this gender, made me more and more curious, till I had liked to try. Being honest, I began, by wishing to be a Dominant Figure and just not a Puppy. But, the reason, I preferred to start from 'the other part of the river', is simply this: I think if I want to understand what a Puppy feels, and what a Puppy wants from a Handler, a Owner or a Trainer (the equivalent of 'Master/Mistress' in Puppy Play slang), I must have been a Puppy before.
I chose this role for two reasons, principally: by one hand - I must admit - to make other people, who are present at one gay fetish night in Rome, put their attention on me (In fact, nobody had ever worn a Puppy muzzle before then, and I would have been the first to do it); by the other hand, because this practice is similar to my conception of BDSM; just not something, where there are pain and humiliation, but something, where there is, first of all, the role play, I mean something, where someone submits another one, or someone decides to submit oneself, in a consensual way, with the aim to get the other enjoyed.
I replied the summer after, in a hetero BDSM party. I’d known and started to attend the hetero group of Rome, and, so, I decided to take part, for the first time, in my life, to one of their parties, always as Puppy. That reply went much more better and it was completely different from the ones I was accustom to take part: I saw an authentic BDSM party, contrary to the typical homosexual parties. Inter alia, thanks to my muzzle, I met a lot of people, who came close to me, because they were curious about this strange object. And, a friendship with some of them, had been ‘forged’, thanks to this night. Let’s say this reply went good: I was less bored and I was enjoying myself so much.
Do you really want to know what Puppy Play is for me? I answer to the question, by saying this: being a Puppy doesn’t mean, rigorously, ‘being a slave’. It means, simply, being a Puppy. Full stop.
I think I have a conception of PP, which is different from the one Italians have about it. It’s a conception, which is similar to the one Aussies or Americans have. Here in Italy, PP is lived as one amongst the many kinks, which are made inside a BDSM scene: the dominant figure, after or before whipping, flogging or spanking his/her submitted figure, obliges him/her to put him/herself at knees, to crawl or to eat into a bowl. My conception is this, instead: Puppy Play must have priority above other kinks. In my typical scene, for example, if there are other kinks, good, otherwise, patience! The most important thing is this: kinks, regarding Puppy Play, must be rigorously present: behaving like a Puppy or to be treated like this, for all the scene, where I woof, bark, growl, play such as run after a squeezable ball or Frisbee and maybe, where I’m caressed like an authentic quadruped. Here in Italy, there are no one, who plays this particular type of BDSM as something exclusive: no one is simply a Pet, like me, and no one plays as Handler, Owner or Trainer, typical Puppy Play dominant figures, which are present, instead, in USA, Australia or, someone in German too. In Italian BDSM parties (both hetero and gay) for example, there aren’t Mosh Pit, I mean play areas for Human Dogs or there are not Human Pet Parking areas, where someone can leave his/her own Puppy or Dog leash tied; instead these things are present in German or American parties.
By one hand, I think this absence of assigned-of-this-kink people is a disadvantage, because I am not able to find the ‘right’ person to play with, I mean, an experienced person, who knows hazards and troubles, which a submitted Pup could run, a person who knows how to behave, being able to run each situation in good way; by the other hand, I think this absence is an advantage: many people, amongst subs or doms, who belong to each gender identity, or sexual orientation (both vanilla, and BDSM), ask me for information and advises about this kind of BDSM, who I live in an exclusive way, differently from them. And talking with them, sharing this passion, makes me happy.
For me, PP is not something sexual: there have been someone, who had asked me to have sex as Puppy, but, if I have to be honest, I like to have sex like a normal human being. This does not mean I cannot have sex with a man I play a Puppy Play scene with; but sex and PP are simply two different things and two different moments. When I Play I’m a sub, when I make sex, someone like the other.
Being a Pet does not mean I don’t love other BDSM kinks: personally, I like fisting and pissing as Dom; instead I like flogging and spanking like Sub.